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- <text id=91TT2350>
- <title>
- Oct. 21, 1991: If You Had A Hammer
- </title>
- <history>
- TIME--The Weekly Newsmagazine--1991
- Oct. 21, 1991 Sex, Lies & Politics
- </history>
- <article>
- <source>Time Magazine</source>
- <hdr>
- BOOKS, Page 98
- If You Had A Hammer
- </hdr><body>
- <p>John Skow
- </p>
- <qt>
- <l>THE WALLS AROUND US</l>
- <l>By David Owen</l>
- <l>Villard; 308 pages; $21</l>
- </qt>
- <p> The city man who moves to the country lugs along a cargo
- of rustic dreams, all calamitous. As writer David Owen, an
- escaped New Yorker now living in the white clapboard town of
- Washington, Conn., says in the first sentence of this terrifying
- confessional memoir, "I love buying expensive power tools and
- using them to wreck various parts of my house."
- </p>
- <p> Just so. Do-it-yourselfers, it is now recognized, are not
- morally stunted; we are merely ill. Our hands tremble as we pass
- a display of belt sanders in a hardware store. If this sounds
- exaggerated, consider Owen's passionate discussion of "The Joy
- of Joint Compound." He writes that "once, when I was resurfacing
- the ceiling of my daughter's bedroom, I stepped down from the
- stool on which I had been standing and into an open bucket of
- joint compound. The smooth white material felt cool and
- luxurious against my foot, which, as luck would have it, was
- bare." Mental-health professionals and spouses of Skilsaw
- fondlers will recognize that luck had nothing to do with it.
- </p>
- <p> Kinky or not, Owen is clearheaded about house behavior.
- "When a new family moves into a house," he says truthfully,
- "water begins to drip from the chandelier." The new householder
- either pays local artisans or ruins things himself. Owen doesn't
- exactly tell you how, but he gives you enough information (in
- the "Fear of Lumber" chapter) so that the guys in bib overalls
- at the lumberyard won't sneer. He is especially good on roof
- slopes and pitches and household electricity. Owen strums his
- mandolin in praise of electric miter saws ("Yeah, if you can
- afford one," says a young carpenter who leafed through this
- book) and electronic levels ("Nah," says my source).
- </p>
- <p> The writing is brisk and funny where it is not tragic,
- though a bit heavy on "yikes" (as in, "For every human being on
- earth, there are 1,500 lbs. of termites. Yikes!"). It was Little
- Orphan Annie who said, "Yikes." Maybe Owen could alternate a few
- "arffs" in his next book, for Sandy.
- </p>
-
- </body></article>
- </text>
-
-